im drinking this country out of the recession.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
