There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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