he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
