i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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