I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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