i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
