so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
