After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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