So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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