Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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