med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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