Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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