how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize