Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
