did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
third nipple confirmed
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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