Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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