I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize