I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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