Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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