I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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