I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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