I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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