She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
