Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
