i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
