which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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