Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
