Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
did you just send me my own nude
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Randomize
