You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
