I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
