Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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