It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
