We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
