drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
