"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize