I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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