So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
