just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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