I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
