I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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