The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
