Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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