the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
