i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
