her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
