It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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