All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
