CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
