lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
are you so shy because you have an std?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
