yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
