If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I wear drunk well.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
