Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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