1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
