but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I still have a little drunk in my system
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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