if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize