New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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