I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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