New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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