I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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