When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
