Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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