Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize