so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
